In Love

Some say I’m insane

That I have lost my sight

Of the world; of what’s real

May be I am

Insane

It’s that flicker

in her eyes, that warmth

in her laughter. That I long,

I miss; May be I am

Lost

Yearning for the scent

of your lips, with thoughts

never leaving your grasp

Reminding; May be I am

Forgotten

Love was never my strength

Sanity is what I pretend

Lost. I am without you,

your presence; May be I am

In love

Grief, Silence, Dark and Smile

Skies crumble to dust

Beneath your feet

Behind your steps

Painted with grief

The days not forget

The words that I whispered

They fall unheard

Drenched in silence

Night pains my heart

Longing for the twinkle in the stars

You, your charms; hidden

Shining in the dark

Yet the cold flows

Down your lips in to my heart

My heart, as it barely breaths

Painted with smiles

To Cry The Strings

It’s not easy, crying these strings

May be another beer would do

Coz it’s just the same,

Lights and the screams

I grow tired everyday

Long nights I lie awake

The smoke still lingers

Empty bottles still clatter

Hiding in the dark

but no one seems to hear

We are the gods,

and devotees there are

Lying naked

on the floor or may be on the bed

Longing to be used and thrown away

Lights have me blinded

Deafening roars have me numbed

I open my eyes to pause

I pause to mute the roar

But the questions lie unanswered

It’s just the same lines

Hanging in the air

The same tunes, the same notes

Tormenting through the years

But the questions lie unanswered

I often pondered, what lies behind

Behind the blinding lights

And then I wondered, what’s after

After the music dies

And the questions still lie unanswered

It’s not easy, crying these strings

Sigh. May be change is all that’s needed

Coz it’s just the same, Lights and the screams

Broken lives and shattered dreams

I grow tired everyday

Coffee with Solitude

The words seemed to have lost their ways
The tides seemed to have drawn my pain
And the road, it seems so long
long, for my grieving feet
 
I will wait
Wait till the dusk to dawn, and the lights to twinkle
Wait till the heart finds its way, amidst these waves,
waves of lonesome solitude
 
But the front porch is still empty
Staring silently, towards the distant rumble
And the coffee still tastes the same,
same without your words

Joker

Smile, it’s such a simple thing

Such simple reasons behind it

Yet it’s still confusing,

So confusing, how people mistake it

People mistake it, and often mislead it

Misuse it, and then they misread it

Ah! All the pretense I see around me

Will there ever be any sincerity?

They scream, and they ask

You smile, even when you’re not

Liar why at us you bark?

When you smile, even when you’re not

True, I smile and I always do

Because I never had a choice, unlike you

I had to smile, even though it hurts

Inside I’m dying, and it’s no comfort

Pretend, pretend and I pretend

Living my life in a perfect lie

It is my curse, cursed is the life I spend

Lying to make you smile

It’s not easy being laughed at

Not easy being pointed at

But someone has to wear this cursed smile

and to smile, even when you’re not

Growing old with you

Maybe it’s your smile that deludes me

Or maybe it’s just your eyes that blind me

Or maybe it’s the dreams that stab me

Or maybe not having you is what kills me

I know things are not what they used to be

And that you may not love me anymore

But there are countless thoughts left unsaid in me

Thoughts that hide deep down in my core

I wish I could have you every night by my side

Wake up to submerse in your hazel eyes

To wash away in to your arms by your smiling tides

And there I’ll stay forever, hiding in your eyes

I wanna do all the silly things with you

Fighting over, whether she looks like me or you

Waking you up in the morning, may be around two

Hey honey I just wanted to say I love you

I wish I could grow old with you

To see it getting stronger by the day

To count the wrinkles in your face and tell you

I don’t know how,

but you’re getting lovelier everyday

I may be naive, for wishing things that might long be lost

But it is me and my heart, for we long what we lost

It’s not your touch or kiss that I miss

Just the love that brings me bliss

We Real Cool

We Real Cool - Gwendolyn Brooks

We real cool. We

Left school. We

Lurk late. We

Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We

Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We

Die soon.

When I read the poem “we real cool” first, I immediately felt stream of thoughts gushing inside my mind, as I could relate myself and my life with the poem to a great extent. I had my share of personal crises with untimely deaths of people who were very dear to me, starting with the loss of my father the list ends with the recent loss of one of my best friends. But what’s striking is that poem screams out loud the very lesson I learned from all this tragedies, how fickle life can be.

He was a real happy-go-lucky kind of a chap. Not giving much of a thought about future, but living more in the present trying his best to enjoy it. He was a very charismatic person with the amazing ability to lift up the mood of anyone around him. His mere presence demanded joy, and his company was always a pleasure to have, with his twisted sense of humour and witty sayings. He was loved by everyone and he loved every one of his friends too. Every one of us missed him so much, when he moved to UK to complete his higher studies. Though he was far he managed to keep in touch with each and every one of his friends, via Facebook or Skype. None of us believed when we heard that dreadful news, we all thought he was playing a joke on us, as he told us that he was coming back home for holidays. But it was his brother’s cries that made us realize that it wasn’t a joke, made us accept the cold hard truth we denied before. He was indeed coming back home, but not alive.

This sudden and depressing incident was a revelation for me, as it had me thinking twice about the 20 years that was behind me. What have I accomplished? It’s true that I’ve done many, but I have achieved so little. I realized that it’s not the things that we collect that are important, but the legacy that we leave behind when move on to the great beyond. While we were all mourning about his death, his aunty told us this “All Beyon collected in his 24 years of life was his friends, and now I see that it was the wisest decision he ever made”.

We might die today, life might end in the next second, life is filled uncertainty and it’s what that makes it worth living. Live life like today’s your last day, love everyone and hate no one, for it is you who’ll be suffering from hate not the person you hate, and leave behind a legacy that’s loved by everyone for its all that is left after you. This is what I’ve learned from Beyon’s death, that it is love that everyone’ll cherish not resentment, and its love that’ll make anyone cherish the memories with you. Enjoy the little things in life with your loved ones, for Life is too short to miss them.

This is an article taken out from my portfolio for Reading and Composition 1 (English 101A).

The Poem that inspired me to write this essay, is a poem that's in the text book of the Comp1

Beyon Alex was a great friend to me and an awesome inspiration as well. Brother you will be always remembered and missed. May you rest in peace.

Black and White

Life is black and sometimes white

Is what I’ve known in weak and might

But then at the end I saw the light

That life is not always black and white

Life is not always black and white

And not every man realizes its plight

At first one might think he’s right

In the end he’ll realize he’s all but right

And here I am helpless but still alive

Striving to find those thoughts I once declined

To find those colors that never aligned

To grasp the world in its clear mind

I remember the days before, the days I used to slay

Heartless killer they called me, for behind me the dead lay

Oh! How I strived to keep my murderous dreams at bay

But as if a frenzy, I only see the sword in my hand play

I’m an artist; art I create on my foe with red

Am I not gifted? For I stand while they lie smothered in red

I’m a musician; my music is where my sword is met

This is my symphony, for my enemy that l brought death

The silky night dawns for us to breathe again

Fear subdued the caged as their eyes led pain

Slowly they rose, with hate running through their veins

May be not today they prey, though they know in vain

Its pity how these creatures struggle for a single night

Kicking, punching and cursing hoping that it might,

Hoping that it might save them from beast, perhaps tonight

As with every creature it’ll be a long night of taming, tonight

It’s the sweet fragrance, the scarlet color that I craved

Not glory nor riches, like others have me enslaved

Even if the Greeks fell and the Trojans are to be saved

I’d still be slaughtering all that’ll stand for earth to be paved

But Troy fell on one moonless night and Greeks stormed in

And I killed and I slew all I can, not knowing what it might win

An arrow was aimed and sang to me, as my armor took it in

As it sang its final “tidings from Hedes for you I bring”

I heard a silent sigh beside me, as I turned around

To find a man who I thought I killed without any doubt

He was a priest and what he said left me astound

For I finally understood all that had me bound

“I am man of god; devoted to all good that man can see

And you as I heard as merciless as a man can ever be

If I am to be pure as white, dark as black you should be

If white and black are only, how dead can we be? “

“Son life is not always black and white

There are many hidden beyond our sight”

And he fell with those words from his plight

I will soon follow, for now I finally see the light

Counseling with a Prostitute | Thoughts that left behind

What’s wrong? She asks me

A question I’ve been wondering myself

If Only she knew, If only I could tell

But it doesn’t matter, not anymore

She looks so baffled, staring in to my eyes

As if trying to read me, yet failing so far

What’s wrong again she asks, you can tell me

And maybe I will, I told myself

Have you ever thought about dying?

No she replied, why should I?

Simple enough, I thought, for a simple being

Thought is futile, where lust dwells

But it’s not easy being this, this self she confessed

It is easier to collapse and no one might know

I moan when I’m not, and scream when I’m not

May be death is not that bad as everyone claims

It’s surprising how people never cease,

Never cease to amaze me, I thought

As a smile dawned upon me, may be

Just may be thoughts still dwell in her

You must be so lonely, to pay for audience

Are the questions it, or is there more?

And she stalled in to drops of awkward

Inviting me with her longing eyes

With that we plunged in to an ocean of pleasure

Our naked bodies grooving to sounds we make

Sweat is just another coincidence that unite us

As her screams of silence left my heart

I was pulling my pants up, when she asked

So what’s your story? You never told me

It’s not likely it’ll ever leave her, I thought

May be, just may be only this time

Life is filled with turns and twist you don’t see

And sometimes you see the end, right through a turn

May be, just maybe it’s not what you expect, to face alone

Here’s the money, and with that I left

Counseling with a prostitute

Another glass of margarita, no may be a tequila

To get through the night and its vile beasts

They walk in, they walk out; but not me

No; not tonight, not till dawn

Here comes another, it’s been a hectic ride so far

Can I keep on? I have to,

It’s not as if I have an option otherwise

Each has their own part to play

This one seems to stand out from the rest

With his weary eyes and forgotten gaze

They say that a man’s eyes talk better than his mouth

So far they have told me nothing but the truth

And I laid down inviting him in, inside

But he seemed confused as he sat beside me

He was questioning himself, reaching for the stars

It was another that he was seeking; not what I had to offer

This was not what I expected, the watery eyes

Usually they are filled red with lust

But in him I see otherwise, something unlike

Something I’ve never seen,

throughout all these lonely nights

He looked ragged in his shabby clothes

And worn out with his passive presence

Something about him made me sad

His mere sight reassured my feelings

I tried to comfort him, as I laid my hand on his back

He looked alarmed, yet he accepted it

He pierced in to the depths I hide deep inside

When I asked him “what’s wrong?”

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time I was a prince

Wandering along the fairy tales

A quest to find the one, my true love

The quest was thorny; though I did all but to fail

All in vain for I didn’t find you my love

Snow white, you are paler than the snow

We started dating and then began the show

I was head over heels in love with you, thought you were the one

But later only I realized that this is just the chapter one

You were my first love, but with a dwarf you ran away

I used to wonder almost all the time, how did that make way?

I was bitter, but I had to move on

My love; she was still out there, so I moved on

Cinderella next you were

The night we danced is still a blur

Oh! How I loved that night with you

Pity! It’s the only one with you

Why, oh! Why did you leave the glass shoe?

My butler found and sold that shoe

Guards they say, they never saw you

And all seem to ruin,

Ruin the chance I had with you

So next as I sat on to find you, beauty as they told

You were no one to compare with , behold

So true their words, for all I left was with wordless

Hideous, your face was all I remembered

As I dashed away leaving you clueless

Mermaid you be the one for me I thought, I hoped

Lying naked with men encircled was the one I sought

50 bucks per hour they said she charged

After all that men? I’d rather eat a thosai and fart

And so I left, convinced that you’ll be the last

The one who sleeps beneath the woods so vast

I pierced through the woods, making my way through

Thinking of all I’d do once I get to you

I slayed the dragon, killed all who stood in my way

To reach your chamber, so elegant as the legends say

And there you slept, touched by no one

Waiting for a kiss, a kiss from someone

Fear not my love, for I am here; the one you’ll marry

Together we’ll raise kids, that one day will make us happy

To make her forget of her worries, I kissed

As I did I found out that I’m kissing a dead body

My New Constitution

I thought, I thought a lot

I thought of a new constitution

Something new for me

It’s quite simple once you get to know

A vision so revolting no one can say no

It’s for the heartbroken and fools

Who thought that girls could guide them through

Know this is not for the faint hearted

For it breaks many hearts after it gets started

It consists of just four rules

Which makes it so fool proof

First, make it nothing but sex

Or else you’ll be left with a hole in the heart

Second, never mess with your friends ex

It always ends with you torn apart

Third, be swift with the start and in the end

And be long gone before she even has a clue

Never mind the start but be slow in the end

You’ll have a girl sticking to you just like glue

Yes it’s awesome I know

So awesome no one can say no

Follow it and you’ll never be sorry

Coz you’ll never have anything to worry

Oh! The forth I almost forgot

Most important of all I got

Make love, but always with a glove

Or start changing the diapers from now

Aphrodite |The sonnet of Love

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

Be it forever, infinite shalt not stand in my way

Though hate were to roam in its rightful place

Ti`s love that burn my heart in vein

I’ve trodden by far and beyond one’s strength

Yonder thy heart perished mine with no breath

What paints the nights, ever I have pondered

Beneath thy beauty I found my answer

Love’s first love, thine own self be

For thee bring forth the Eden’s eve

Let the gods curse, their wrath let it fall on me

For I’ve held thy hand, destined with beauty

Poets shalt linger in thine eyes so deep

Lost in thy gaze, a poetry that seep

Words of thy art better left unsaid

Thou art more than words that ever laid

Thee be my worship, my solitude hymn

Thee be my love

The love that maketh the cupid’s lines

Poet in love

Shall I compare thee to the moon?

Serene as an infant

Mild as the dew that falls from leaves

But no; for even moon veils herself

Behind the shadows

Shamed by the radiance,

Radiance of the

Enigma that surrounds you

Let it fascinate me

Let the gods be intoxicated

Let the misery befall upon them

For they are no mortals

To be beside you

May the angels envy

The beauty that conspire thee

May the angels conceal themselves

Before you; May they crave

Crave the grandeur you possess

Unreachable you are

But I still hope

Untouchable you are

But I still wish

For I am but a firefly

A firefly in love with the light

Flames of a candle

Knowing it shall be the end

But to get closer I must

For you are the lines

Lines of my unfinished poem

Poet I am; Poem you shall be mine

Poet I am; A Poet In Love

Loner | The Outcast of Love

I dream

A dream with you and me

Dancing amongst the stars

A dream, we are flying

Beside the clouds

Free as the birds

You’re not mine

And never be mine

But I still dream

Friend I am

But a lover to you

Everything you are

But a friend to me

You, a queen beautifully divine

Let it blind me, your beauty

Let it leave me senseless, bewildered

For you it is you I long

For it is you I wait

But never the day

Come along you feel

Feel how I feel for you

Know you hear them a million times

From him; never from me

I love you

But you’ll never know

It hurts me

To see you being with him

Know you’re his though

My heart does not

Is this betrayal

Or is it just love?

Confine me

For I not know this

Guilt surrounds me

For this is forbidden

If not with you

Am I to walk alone?

Outcast of love; loner

Alone I shall walk

Love | The unseen side

Is love and greed are different? Or are those the same just in different forms? Does true love exist? Humans made it their mission to seek answers for these questions from the beginning of time and are still continuing in vain. Below are my views, my thoughts on this matter.

Once there was a man, who was blinded by the love he had towards his gem collection. There was nothing in the world that was dearer to him than his gems. All he cared about was his gems and his sole purpose of living remained in those gems. He would fight with his life to protect those gems and would die of grief if the stones were ever to be stolen, because then his only purpose of life will cease to exist.

If we are to compare this greedy man with true lovers who are nothing new to the romantic movies and books, one can say that the both parties posses similar properties. As the gems to the greedy person, the true lover has nothing dearer to him other than his/her partner. All he cares about is his/her partner and he/she is the sole purpose of the lover’s life. He/she would also give his life for his/her partner in a similar way the greedy person would give his life to save the gems. Without the partner, the true lover will also die or live as a zombie just as the greedy person who lost his gems. Considering these arguments, one can claim that love is but another form of greed.

If one, inspects the tale of Romeo and Juliet (the most critically acclaimed romance of all time – or so it is told -) carefully he can see that there is nothing but just an idiotic duo – Romeo n Juliet – taking their lives in the name of love. Romeo killed himself thinking that Juliet had died but when Juliet arose from her so-called death, she finds Romeo dead and she too kills herself. None of them thought that their partner would have desired to see the other to live not die. But the truth is that neither wanted to live while the other died. Neither of them wanted have the burden of losing the other. They only wanted to spare themselves of the suffering and the pain that was left by the other. Since it is easier to avoid the pain and the suffering as it is rather than facing them strongly, they took the easy way out. However, in the process of making that decision, they never thought about the suffering they would bring upon their parents and all their loved ones. They never thought about the consequences of their actions, but thought of themselves only. The story to me only narrates a tale of a cowardly, selfish and utterly ignorant duo (which is most likely the same case with the other romances) who makes all the wrong choices that one could make.

During my short span of life this is what I have understood, we pursuit momentary pleasure obsessed by greed, lying and trying to convince ourselves that it is love. This is my perception of love.