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Sunday, August 30, 2015

Good Bye

It was thousand suns exploding
While darkness crept beneath
It was blinding rays of light
While tumbling down a bottomless pit
When she said
“Good bye”

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Confessions Of A Loner

There’s a reason that I hate romances. They always remind of the things that I never had. Love, such an insignificantly small, four lettered word; yet all the people seemed to be so obsessed over it. Frankly I don’t get it. I don’t get any of it. May be it’s just me, and my weird self.

I've been involved with women, some casual, and some I thought were serious. But I suppose I never really loved them. I thought I was, and at times I forced myself to feel that way. I've said the same lines to every single girl. They keep asking me why them? What made them so special to me? And why do I love them? I just merely told them what they wanted to hear. Does that make me a liar? I suppose so. Does that make me heinous? I don’t know, maybe it does. I've been living in pretense all my life. I've been pretending so much that I’m confused what I really am. I've been lying all my life, and I've lost the truth somewhere along the road.

The truth is that I've always kept my feelings in check. Truth is that I've kept my emotions shut. I was eleven when my dad died, and I didn't even know that he was until I reached home to find him in a coffin. Most would've cried, most would've broken down, most would've acted differently than the way I did. I just kept staring at his body, not sure what I should feel or how I should feel. People around were giving me weird looks. Their faces were worried, and their eyes asked “what’s wrong with that kid?” So I learned from my mistakes. When it was my grandmother’s turn to go to the other side, I just followed the lead of my relatives. They looked sad, I looked sad. They started crying, and so did I. even though I wasn't really sad.

I've been called a jerk, a dick, a moron, a loser; none of which I’m denying. I may be all of those, and probably more. I know inside, that I’ve earned all of them. The facts that even the relationships that I claimed serious, not lasting for a considerable amount of time, made me realize that I truly deserve all of them. May be it is because that inside I’m still a little child. I want toys that I don’t have, and when I finally get them I just get tired of them, and start looking for a new toy to play with. Or maybe it is just simply because I’m afraid of commitments.  I am damaged, I know, and probably beyond anyone’s help.

I am man with little regrets in my life. I neither regret nor resent any encounter I had with anyone in my life. So why am I writing this? I myself don’t know the reason. May be I feel guilty for all the lies I've said, and all that I made others believe, or maybe I just felt like getting this off of my chest. I did it all to spare myself of loneliness, and to get myself distracted from my life itself. I guess I’m a little bit more selfish than I thought.


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Flowers of A Little Girl



Fade out the lights
Carnival is all but over
Little girl
Why are you waiting?
With those flowers
Beautiful flowers
Smiling at the heavens
Smiling at the dark
I’m waiting, she said

Darkness came,
Wind blew, screaming in her ears
Rain poured, drowning her eyes
Little girl
Who stole your flowers?
Was it lost in the dark?
Her eyes searching for the pieces
Heavy with shame
No, she sighed

Flowers she found
Petals torn against their will
Colors robbed without a cry
Stabbed with thorns
Gasping for life
Little girl
Will the flowers die?
Will they fade away?
She said…

Friday, December 16, 2011

In A Distant Valley


A cold eve
Mist hiding in the smoke
Let my dreams paint a distant valley
Come, with me
Alone we will lose ourselves,
In a distant valley, where the green is all but lost

The night, let us awaken from its sleep
The bees with their flowers, they wouldn’t know
Come, with me
Alone we will lose ourselves,
In a distant valley, where the green is all but lost

Clouds will shape our love
In the distant valley
Let us find our haven there
Come, with me
Alone we will lose ourselves
In a distant valley, where the green is all but lost

   

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Hiding Behind The Smoke

Lips
Her lips,
Was there ever a thing that was sweeter?
“You taste like cigarettes,”
She coiled back, fighting to break free
“And you taste like strawberries”
Said I, wrapping my arms around her,
“Let me go, you never loved me,”
Her eyes, dark, piercing me
Her hair tangled in my fingers
“Didn’t I?”, “Didn’t I love you?”
Tell me, I won’t lie this time
Cause, It hurts
It’s dark and it’s cold
in here, in me
“Don’t you leave me,” cried I
I’m scared, scared that I’ll get lost
Lost in the smoke of my own cigarettes
But,
I’ll let you leave,
The smoke will only choke you
Smother you with ash
I’ll hide behind the smoke
I’m scared, but still I will
So that I won’t see you leave
So that you won’t see me
Yet I still hear your footsteps,
leaving
And your voice,
fading,
“Don’t be scared,
just light your cigarette.”


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Letter To A Coffee Junkie

Hey,
I’ve missed you
Your voice
Telling that you don’t love me
That you hate me
I’ve waited in my solitude
Long, too long, I suppose
For those words
For them to kiss my ears again
Yet they seem silent
Leaving me to ponder
Have they lost themselves,
in the air? have they forgotten me?
Me, I’m still here
Still waiting,
I guess some feelings just won’t change

Love,
The Poet!

P.S - The more I try, the more i fail
There's always more that i want to say
But I'll save them, till we meet
or by fate when we part


Sunday, November 14, 2010

In Love

Some say I’m insane
That I have lost my sight
Of the world; of what’s real
May be I am
Insane

It’s that flicker
in her eyes, that warmth
in her laughter. That I long,
I miss; May be I am
Lost

Yearning for the scent
of your lips, with thoughts
never leaving your grasp
Reminding; May be I am
Forgotten

Love was never my strength
Sanity is what I pretend
Lost. I am without you,
your presence; May be I am
In love